Writing Task 1 Line Graph (Practical)

안녕하세요오- 여러부운^^ 오늘은 매우 졸리군요ㅠㅜ 머리가 어찌나 무거운지 에궁.

이번 포스팅은 다른 곳에서 퍼온 답안지 보다는 제가 직접 써본 제 리포트와 샘플을 비교해 보려고 합니다. 이렇게 써보시고 비교를 하시면서 잘 못된 점을 살펴보시면 훨씬 빨리 익숙해 지실 수 있습니다. 

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the graph below.

Write at least 150 words.

(원 포스팅 주소: http://www.ielts-exam.net/preparing/Writing_task_one_double_line_graph/209/)

제가 쓴 리포트:

The line graph illustrates the numbers of people smoking in Someland by male and female between the years 1960 and 2000.

Overall, the rate of smoking by male was notably higher than female. The trend of male smoking showed a downward trend compared to women smoking which showed upward trend and decreased moderately.

The trend of men smoking showed a gradual decline, 600 people in the year 1960 and it reduced to 250 people in 2000.

On the other hand, the smoking rate of women was increased compared to the first year, 99 and 200 people in the year of 2000.

위에 있는 리포트는 제가 쓴 겁니다. 아휴;; 부끄러운 리포트 입니다만 확실한 차이를 보이기 위해 창피를 무릅쓰고 이렇게 포스팅에 집어 넣습니다. 

제가 쓴 리포트는 150자도 안되어 이미 좋은 점수를 받기는 글렀습니다ㅠㅜ

Sample Answer:

The graph compares the rate of smoking in men and women in Someland between the years 1960 and 2000. It can be clearly seen that the rate of smoking for both men and women is currently declining and that fewer women have smoked throughout the period.

In 1960, 600 men in every 1,000 was smoking. This number decreased gradually to 500 by 1974 and continued to decrease but more steeply to 250 in 2000. In contrast, the rate of smoking in women in 1960 was very low at only 80 in every 1,000. By 1968 this increased to 170, and increased again but more steeply to 320 in 1977. The rate of female smokers then remained stable at 320 until 1984 at which point the figures began to decline and had dropped to 200 by 2000.

In conclusion we can see that the rate of smoking in men dropped throughout the whole period but was always at a higher level than the female figures. The rate of smoking in women increased until 1977 but then decreased for the rest of the period.

자, 보시면 확연히 차이가 나죠? 아직 디테일하게 들어가지 않아도 길이자체로 차이가 납니다.